The Salt Lake Screaming Eagles, whose plays are called by fans via smart phones, fired their coach after two games. William McCarthy — voted the team’s first coach — was 1-1. On the bright side, if fans are calling the plays, who says they need a coach?

ANIMAL KINGDOM

One suggested name for Salt Lake’s Indoor Football League team was Teamy McTeam Face. Meanwhile, San Diego is hoping to enhance its chances of landing an MLS franchise by soliciting fan input.

Among the name nominations: Footy McFooty Face.

Cool, but why not simply call it the San Diego Zoo?

SERIOUSLY NOW ...

Athlon Sports ranks Larry Krystkowiak and Kyle Whittingham the top basketball-football coaching combination in the Pac-12, noting the Ute basketball team “could be headed back to the NCAA Tournament for a third straight year with a strong finish.”

Note to editors: Please replace “strong” with “miraculous.”

SAMMY SMACK

Former slugger Sammy Sosa used a recent blog to deny steroid use, compare his trials to Jesus, and claim he introduced Chicago to the world.

“Do tell,” said Michael Jordan, Oprah Winfrey, Stan Mikita, Walter Payton, Ernie Banks, Benny Goodman …

A HEAVENLY DEAL

Using seven key metrics, Wallethub.com ranks Provo 20th on its list of best cities for college hoops fans.

Among the criteria: availability of inexpensive season tickets.

When it comes to BYU, it’s hard to beat the price of tickets that come through the LDS ward.

LANE CHANGE

A Houston TV reporter was interviewing people about road rage when he unwittingly quizzed the Minnesota Vikings’ Adrian Peterson.

Peterson told Fox 26: “Swerving in front of people or speeding up trying to catch up with people. You never know ... how they will react to it.”

Which pretty much describes his downfield runs, doesn’t it?

A NEW SPACE

Former Ute quarterback Travis Wilson has signed a contract to play with the Los Angeles Rams — as a tight end.

Michael Jordan is wondering: “Why didn’t I think of that?”

TASTE TEST

White Sox first baseman Jose Abreu told a jury he ate part of a fake passport to disguise his travel for a smuggling operation.

Which contradicted his original explanation: The passport looked and tasted exactly like the lunch they served on his flight.