Faith

One Utah couple's response to their son coming out as gay shown in new LDS Church video

Return To Article
Add a comment
  • 1Peter315 Midvale, UT
    March 22, 2017 11:29 p.m.

    You know, D&C 121:8 and 1 Peter 2:20 come to mind. If he "endures it well" and is "true and faithful." I have come to my know for myself that those who struggle with this (either naturally or by choice) and indeed endure to the end and do not yield to unrighteousness (Romans 6:13) will be received into eternal rest with the Lord (2 Peter 1:11). I would even go as far to say that with how powerful the emotions are that accompany the procreative power and to resist them a whole life time, they will be granted almost immediate entrance. And what a relief it will be when death comes and that burden is lifted.

    I do believe that those who "call on Jesus's Holy name" will receive relief in this life (Alma 13:28-29), and "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. (1 Corinthians 10:13).

  • christoph Brigham City, UT
    March 21, 2017 7:47 p.m.

    The question, "who would choose this?" infers unhappiness.

  • Warbunny Puyallup, WA
    March 21, 2017 3:36 p.m.

    As rude and worldly as this sounds, sexuality is a learned behavior and CHOICE. That sounds offensive unless you reframe it. Can you have attractions and relations to same sex, underage children, only specific colors, chubby people, animals, only strange, new partners ?? Hint...yes! Are these equally acceptable or natural because "that's the way I am" or "that's the way I was born?" Another hint = uhhh NO! Tendencies or attractions are not sins (or crimes) . Homosexual tendencies may exist just as attraction to underage girls or one specific race or wanting multiple partners may exist but all BEHAVIORS are NOT equally acceptable in the eyes of the law, society or the Lord. The root word of discipline is disciple...."Disciple" refers to a "learned" behavior from a source which you accept. embrace,owe allegiance, obedience and commitment. Love the sinner? Sure...but not love and accept the sin...in SELF or others!

  • Justin M Sacramento, CA
    March 21, 2017 1:41 p.m.

    It's sad to see so many comments with regards to this video being an endorsement by the church of their lowering of standards, etc.

    The video was put together, edited and released by the church, and careful viewers will recognize that there is NOT an inconsistency with church membership, doctrine and beliefs.

    At 5:08 Xian's mother says: "That was tough - realizing that he [Xian] was stepping away from the church."

    5:18 Xian's father says: "To see my son, who is in a relationship with another um, man, okay, that's not really in harmony with what we're taught."

    5:25 Xian's mother: "I should be curled up in a ball, crying, and thinking 'What's happened to my eternal family?'. Once...you let it go...like, I'm laying this on the Savior's feet. It...It does...it just feels like this big load...is lifted. And you do have a peace."

    Again, I don't see an inconsistency between the gospel, church membership and beliefs.

    I think this is a VERY good video about the challenges individuals and families face in the scope of a greater plan for all of us, with constraints that come with church membership and gospel teachings.

    My heart was touched by the faith and courage of this family.

  • moresureword Maple Grove, MN
    March 21, 2017 11:54 a.m.

    1hemlock, you wrote, "It is a choice whether to have sexual relations outside the bounds of marriage between a man and a woman. Tens of thousands, if not more, heterosexual men and women are able to 'conrol' themselves and live active Church lives knowing that God will work things out. They are able to do it. Anyone can do it."

    It is not a choice to be born with a disposition and sexual attraction to one's own sex. You and the Church would have these human beings suffer, without any opportunity for sexual expression with others, even within the bonds of a legal marriage between two men or two women who are only sexually attracted to their own sex.

    You and the Church condemn married gay couples as "apostate," if they desire to remain members of the Church. This is cruel and unusual, to treat other human beings this way.

  • MoreMan San Diego, CA
    March 21, 2017 10:22 a.m.

    Spoiler alert... Being Mormon is a choice... Being Gay is a destiny. Now back to your regular programming.

  • Burnham Bountiful, Utah
    March 21, 2017 8:29 a.m.

    We need to be forgiving regardless of gender persuasion and love all men and women as God intended. I'm not speaking sexually now. However, we are commanded to remain chaste. That rule applies regardless of whether we are heterosexual of homosexual. We can generate all manner of man made ideas but chastity is a law of God, period.

  • tyroneweaver Burley, ID
    March 21, 2017 6:13 a.m.

    Why is this particular behavior so much on the increase? Especially at this place and time?

  • Dutyforlife Mesa, AZ
    March 20, 2017 6:31 p.m.

    The biggest message I got from this was that they were going to keep loving him and opening their home and heart to him. They will never give up hope. They know Heavenly Father loves him and if they block him out it won't do anything except push him farther away.
    Some people are actually born with this difference and that doesn't make it right for them to act on it, but I also will never judge them, that's for God to do. I have no idea of the struggle they go through every day. I can't even imagine. We can accept that some people genuinely experience these feelings and still stand fast in the belief that Acting on them is not going to lead them closer to Christ.

  • rdean92 Los Angeles, CA
    March 20, 2017 5:25 p.m.

    Glad to see that DN is reporting on stories like this. We can only hope and pray this young man will allow himself to have a normal relationship with someone who he loves. Anything less would be tragic.

  • StevePhilly Philadelphia, PA
    March 20, 2017 3:08 p.m.

    I initially thought this was going to be another self-congratulatory 'my son is gay and I still love him' video, but to my surprise, it goes beyond that. The fact is that there are many who grew up firmly convinced that the LDS Church is true, but came into conflict with that conviction as they realized that they were gay.

    Many have decided to live celebate lives, as Church leaders have counseled, and previous videos have told their stories. But others, myself included, have decided to separate ourselves from the Church because of our desire to build loving, supportive relationships with another individual of the same sex. This is never an easy decision, and some say it's simply giving in to lust. In reality, my decision to seek a relationship has about as much to do with sex as any individual's decision to marry. I do not relish the prospect of facing my life's challenges without someone so close to me that I cannot share everything with him.

    My family struggles with this. What has become of their eternal family? As in the video, my family's answers aren't clear yet.

  • FarmTown Boy Farmington, UT
    March 20, 2017 3:03 p.m.

    Homosexuality is definitely a tough subject for Mormons. While I have many thoughts concerning homosexuality, here is the basis of what I think and believe.
    1- love the sinner, not the sin. I think Xians parents are doing whats right, by loving him. they don't necessarily have to like homosexuality, but they still love him, and I think that's the message that the church is trying to portray. Love everybody.
    2-the fullness of the gospel was restored through Joseph Smith. In the old testament, there were prophets who practiced polygamy, so for the fullness of the gospel to be restored, polygamy must be practiced, and it was! Homosexuality, however, was not practiced, in fact a whole city was destroyed because of it. therefore there isn't any modern day revelation that homosexuality can be practiced.
    3- the Proclamation to the World talks about families, and it specifically states the marriage be between a man and a women.
    4-Whether people have the choice to be gay or whether they are born gay, they all have the same option to act on it, I know some people who have same-sex attraction, but they don't act on it.

    Anyways, those are my thoughts!

  • Frozen Fractals Salt Lake City, UT
    March 20, 2017 1:00 p.m.

    @Smokin' Joe
    "(If the entire world embraced universally a homosexual lifestyle, the human family would be extinct in a few generations and advocates for the moral equation of homosexuality with heterosexuality could not, on their moral premises, condemn that result). "

    Well considering that the thing being embraced is people being the sexual orientation they are, whether that's straight, gay, or bi, everyone being homosexual would actually be contrary to the vision promoted. So there actually isn't a reason for people like me who equate homosexuality with heterosexuality to be homosexual since that's not something I am. Considering that the majority of people are heterosexual then there's no concern about extinction.

    "it is wrong to assume merely that because some have homosexual tendencies that there is no moral difference between life and death"

    You're the one making up this random transitive idea. It's certainly not something people who equate heterosexuality and homosexuality are thinking.

  • Cleetorn Fuaamotu, Tonga
    March 20, 2017 12:40 p.m.

    I don't understand what all the confusion is. This video teaches us that we need to love all of God's children regardless of their choices or orientations. It doesn't set any ground breaking church policy or require us to do anything that we weren't supposed to do in the first place. It demonstrates what one family did to reconcile themselves with the situation they had to deal with.

    As far as whether or not God will bless any or all of them, let Him figure out who He will bless. They're His blessings, not ours. It's not our job to figure it out for Him. While we may have fundamental differences in our personal philosophies, we are still required by He who made us all to respect each other in those differences and love one another despite those same differences.

    It's no real biggie.

  • Nunn24 Salt Lake City, UT
    March 20, 2017 12:12 p.m.

    @Linda Bilington:

    "But every gay LDS person I know said they prayed to change and were told by God that they were fine, just the way they were. They believe that Heavenly Father wants them to marry another gay person and grow a family through alternate insemination, adoption, or surrogacy -- just like straight, non-fertile couples do."

    Ms. Bilington: You are on these boards on a regular basis, as a remote commenter (from out of state). It is apparent that you are here pursuant to an agenda to promote, via boards such as this one, a radical, liberal/"progressive" agenda.

    Today, you are purposely endeavoring to lead people to believe that God Himself endorses the homosexual lifestyle.

    I know it is not true.

    God is a liberator, by the merits of Christ's voluntary sacrifice on the Cross. This does not mean a total removal of an inclination of one kind or another, necessarily. But through faith in Christ, as prescribed in Scripture -- not faith misdirected, as a result of subtle, false doctrines, mingled with Scripture -- neither homosexuals nor heterosexuals need be ENSLAVED by such inclinations. There’s the distinction.

  • EscherEnigma Ridgecrest, CA
    March 20, 2017 11:18 a.m.

    @Burnham
    "It is hard I know but at some point in one's life this is a decision. "
    So that was what, when I was a prepubescent boy? 'cause the first thing I can remember that got a "man reaction" from me? Was an ancient Greek vase of Olympic athletes (that is, all nude). For years afterwards I tried, I really *tried*, to be straight. It didn't work. Nothing could get a fraction of that "man reaction" that I got from poorly illustrated naked men on a 2000 year old vase.

    So if I made a "choice", it wasn't a conscious one, and it happened before I was in any condition to make an informed one.

    And it's not like society hasn't given gay folk every reason to choose to be straight. I mean, you guys have tried out-right outlawing being gay (sodomy laws), making it illegal for us to talk about gay stuff (censorship and speech bans), banning us from work (bans on federal employment, teaching, military), banning us from building families (marriage laws, adoption bans)... do you really think cocktails and sodomy are so great we'd choose all that if we had a choice? And not just today, but in every era all throughout the world for all of history?

  • EscherEnigma Ridgecrest, CA
    March 20, 2017 11:09 a.m.

    "There are no homosexual members of the Church. We are not defined by sexual attraction. We are not defined by sexual behavior."
    Funny, the "it's our First Amendment right to discriminate against gay people" never makes that distinction. It always stops and starts at whether or not someone is *perceived* as gay, regardless of their sex life.

    That is to say... when people are discriminating against gay people, they rarely, if ever, know a thing about the person's sex life. So pretending that it's the "sexual behavior", and not the "identity" that's the problem? Isn't honest.

  • skeptic Phoenix, AZ
    March 20, 2017 10:46 a.m.

    As much as one may desire and try, one can not speak reason or love to bigotry, prejudice, religious indoctrination, or arrogant egotism. Some people just must find a way and reason to put others down and step on them, I guess it makes them feel superior.

  • JonathanPDX Portland, Oregon
    March 20, 2017 9:39 a.m.

    I applaud Xian and his family for their actions in working to understand and improve their relationships and communication. I wish them all the best and hope they find happiness, whether or not it ruffles the feathers of others. No one on this world is perfect and we should be very cautious of sitting in judgment on anyone, especially someone we know little or nothing about or their circumstances. Regardless of how me might perceive another as sinful, God is the ultimate judge and will hold US accountable for our lack of love, kindness and compassion toward our fellow man, regardless of his supposed flaws.

  • Misty Mountain Kent, WA
    March 20, 2017 9:01 a.m.

    Burnham writes,

    "My nephew told me that he was not born this way but over time became gay. It is hard I know but at some point in one's life this is a decision. "

    I suspect what your nephew told you was that over time he realized that he was gay. That's not the same as "becoming" gay, let alone deciding anything. But tell me, since you say you know that this is a decision, how old were you when you decided to be straight?

    "I firmly believe that this lifestyle is a decision and not a demanded thing. I don't mean to offend but this is what I have learned from more than one homosexual who has been totally honest about his life. "

    I have no idea what anybody told you. Personally, I've never met a gay or bisexual person who told me that they "decided" to be that way. But it sounds like you are saying that gay people who agree with you about the "deciding" are being "totally honest" and those who say it wasn't a decision, it was a realization--are not.

    Please think about that for a minute. That is an incredibly insulting thing to say.

  • Burnham Bountiful, Utah
    March 20, 2017 7:34 a.m.

    You always love your children, no matter what! But, lets be clear here. My nephew told me that he was not born this way but over time became gay. It is hard I know but at some point in one's life this is a decision. Everyone at one time or another has difficulty with their sexuality and young people quite readily admit to homosexuality before understanding that this occurs. I don't know this young man but I firmly believe that this lifestyle is a decision and not a demanded thing. I don't mean to offend but this is what I have learned from more than one homosexual who has been totally honest about his life. For what it's worth!

  • 2close2call Los Angeles, CA
    March 19, 2017 8:29 p.m.

    @The Caravan Moves On - Enid, OK
    "I am still not convinced that homosexuality is not a choice. "

    How can you even state this? I don't know about you, but I could never choose to be homosexual in a million years. Could you? I was definitely born being attracted to the opposite sex. It was not simply taught to me.

  • zoressa Rocklin, CA
    March 19, 2017 6:00 p.m.

    I was touched by this video. I am a true blue through and through died in the wool active member of the LDS faith - a temple worker and, return missionary, mother of 4, grandmother of 5 and a staunch supporter and defender of the Proclamation on the Family. HOWEVER - we do not understand everything. We do not understand how or why this happens. We do not understand "gender disorientation" as Elder Oaks once referred to it. There is no doubt in my mind that the Plan of Salvation does not include same-sex couples but for right now - it does include love and kindness, respect, and allowance for individual choices. DI's choice to produce this video does not in anyway retract the Church's position on the principal of eternal families -- it does say something about our need to stop contempt, hatred, "mean jokes" and disparagement of others. There is no place in the Church for that and we need to clean our own house first.

  • dcbriscoejr Kapolei, HI
    March 19, 2017 4:17 p.m.

    All intolerant criticism aside, the church-sanctioned video is a huge step in the direction the church should be going. Critics may want to stress other aspects of the Gospel, but love and family are like unto the greatest commandment, which is to love God. As a lifelong Mormon, I have never understood why the church that follows these principles would hang so much on a scripturally dubious opposition to gay marriage rather than sticking to preference for the scripturally sound opposition to promiscuity for those attracted to either sex. Clearly, marriage or total abstinence are the only antidotes to promiscuity, and Mormons have never espoused abstinance. To put it in language familiar to Mormons. God prefers marriage to living in sin. So should Mormons for their gay children. Also never say never to any change in God's law. The end of polygamy and the priesthood ban on blacks, every revelation, and the entire New Testament are ample evidence of that. To say "never" is to deny modern revelation.

  • JoeBlow Far East USA, SC
    March 19, 2017 4:13 p.m.

    "I don't usual count off the cuff comments by the prophets as revelation, but a signed document by the first presidency? If that's not revelation, nothing is."

    I never understood why one would have to guess. Why don't the church leaders clarify exactly what is revelation from above and what is not?

    Is it possible that the ambiguity is gives room for error?

  • 1aggie SALT LAKE CITY, UT
    March 19, 2017 4:00 p.m.

    When someone says they are now "openly gay" it simply means they are acknowledging publicly they are gay. It does not define how they are moving forward--whether they will be pursing relationships, getting married, living celibate lives or whatever.

    I don't think there is any confusion created with this video. I think it is very clear that LDS
    parents can/should love their gay children and not exclude them from the family.

    "Love the sinner, because we are all sinners."

  • Smokin' Joe ALTURAS, CA
    March 19, 2017 3:50 p.m.

    It has been said that the human family comes to sight as a great river flowing through time. But that river is constituted and reconstituted in and by the generative distinction between male and female---by the sexual friendship between a man and a woman. If the generative distinction between male and female is arbitrary (a mere matter of personal preference) then the existence of humanity is, likewise, a mere matter of preference. On the premises of the homosexual rights movement then, there is no objective reason for preferring life to death---for preferring the ongoing unfolding of human history to mass suicide. (If the entire world embraced universally a homosexual lifestyle, the human family would be extinct in a few generations and advocates for the moral equation of homosexuality with heterosexuality could not, on their moral premises, condemn that result).

    It is right to have compassion for homosexuals (as it is for any person suffering a harmful malady) but it is wrong to assume merely that because some have homosexual tendencies that there is no moral difference between life and death---between heterosexual eros and homosexuality.

  • unrepentant progressive Bozeman, MT
    March 19, 2017 9:16 a.m.

    I really feel sorry for those on this thread condemning not only Xian, but also his family.

    I don't care what you may personally believe to be true, whatever the shortcomings of your understanding. However, the blind faith put into obscure passages of holy text lead me to understand that your faith is more about fear than love. And my understandings of the greatest good of all is one of love of one's self and one's neighbor ( and some of us throw in God as well, some don't).

    This family loves and understands one another. They have evolved to a higher plain. Casting stones is no way to conduct yourselves. And blind faith is not faith indeed.

  • Sandy Salt Lake City, UT
    March 18, 2017 11:27 p.m.

    There's nothing wrong with the family featured in the video. They've handled things as best they could, it seems. I respect their willingness to tell their story.

    However, @Overdubbed in San Diego expressed my thoughts exactly (around 10:30 a.m. ). And the conflict and confusion in this string of commentary is evidence that s/he is right.

    I hope producers and writers at the Mormon Channel and those in authority who approve their work will do better by famlies like this one, who turn their stories over to them. Read these comments and consider more carefully before releasing a predictably-divisive product. The faces on camera pay the highest price for our lack of clear messaging.

  • Tolstoy salt lake, UT
    March 18, 2017 10:54 p.m.

    @nanjan

    It's unfortunate if your son is indeed being "threatened" however when you spread hateful and dangerious lies equating gay people with "pornographic, cyberspace, predatory, sex-addicted, narcissistic, phony, dead-end mindset and lifestyle" People tend to get a little angry.

  • Misty Mountain Kent, WA
    March 18, 2017 8:11 p.m.

    JSB asks,

    "What do the parents do if their son introduces his "husband" to them?"

    I'd expect him to introduce his beloved to his family long before the wedding. But either way, the answer is, "We're so glad to meet you. Xian has told us so much about you".

    And if he and Xian are married, he is Xian's husband. Not "husband".

  • BleedCougarBlue Enid, OK
    March 18, 2017 5:24 p.m.

    Two comments: 1 - The LDS church has "never" formally/officially said whether having homosexual desires is genetic ("nature") or learned behavior ("nurture") and anyone who is claiming the Mormon leadership is saying homosexuality is absolutely genetically caused is wrong. They simply have not said that. 2 - Those who are yearning for the day when the LDS prophet and apostles say that homosexual behavior is not sinful are wasting their time. That statement will never happen. No, never.

  • HughLosAngeles , CA
    March 18, 2017 5:19 p.m.

    1) Comments confusion: Apostasy: Outward rebellion against the Prophet, Authority, leaders, etc. People sin, get excommunicated, however some simply admit they, due to x,y,z but without faulting the church can't meet a requirement. (excommunication, part of repentance and we aren't supposed to hate the sinner just the specific sin) isnt apostasy., Its recognition of ongoing sin/conflict that causes excommunication nut apostasy? The young man in "subject video" by definition" an apostate? Really? I watch Church topical videos & look how "families deal with each other. This looked opposite " my normal" so on that: 2) The Mother comment struck me dumb: "effect on her eternal family". Wow I pray, have met with leaders seeking assurance if I remain sealed to my parents I wolnt endure one more moment with a Sibling, its spouse and their posterity due to decades old behavior excused as divine right. A quick email, Christmas visit, and open non confrontational discussion, without physical harm, financial theft, and details unpublishable here likely. He didn't kill. Not jail bound. Didn't spend your savings. Count your blessings.

  • The Caravan Moves On Enid, OK
    March 18, 2017 5:11 p.m.

    I am still not convinced that homosexuality is not a choice. There is a ton of "learning" that occurs via "nurturing" (referring to the nature vs. nurture arguments) and that is not discussed at all in this article. Also, the older I get the more I can see there is a vast difference between "seeing what kinds of actions are possible" and actually wanting/desiring to do something. Just a hunch but I think a certain group of people (especially those with perfectionistic tendencies) get confused with that and don't see the difference.

  • JSB Sugar City, ID
    March 18, 2017 4:59 p.m.

    I can't download the video so I don't know if this was covered. What do the parents do if their son introduces his "husband" to them?

  • KevinSim Springville, UT
    March 18, 2017 4:05 p.m.

    Standing for Truth posted:

    =But he loves us enough to ask us to repent and experience the mighty change of
    =heart, not give in to the doctrines of the world. When he comes to the point
    =where he would like help, have him a good therapist who helps people desiring
    =to change. He can be helped to leave his homosexual desires and behaviors
    =behind.

    Actually, the LDS Church has come out and pretty clearly said that most gays probably CAN'T change their sexual orientation, and therefore have indicated that it makes no sense to try. Why can't people just take that at face value, and just accept gays, lesbians, and bisexuals as valid people who don't need to change?

    On the other hand, having sex with someone of one's own gender is another thing entirely. Currently the Church has declared that sin, even if one is legally married to that someone. I have accepted that, though for the record if the Church ever accepts same-sex marriage nobody would be happier of such a thing than myself.

  • Yar Springville, UT
    March 18, 2017 2:33 p.m.

    What a wonderful young man Xian is! Thank you, Mormonchannel, for posting this. This really warms my heart. May God bless him and his family! Be strong and prosper!

  • Lilly Munster , 00
    March 18, 2017 1:07 p.m.

    Sadly, when this family, and the gay son, read all these posts, they will realize that they are still NOT safe, emotionally, spiritually, and physically, from the retribution, criticism, as well as subtle and overt threats that are expressed here. Notice the number of people who express that they would shame and threaten their children? The vilification never stops, does it? People are still deluded in their deep seated and willful misunderstandings about others.
    There is nothing wrong with this young man. He is precisely who God created him to be.

  • Standing for Truth Pleasant Grove, UT
    March 18, 2017 10:42 a.m.

    This is not a lifelong sentence for Xian. We all are tempted and called on by Jesus to repent. These outside-of-God's-law feelings and desires can be schooled and overcome left behind permanently. Jesus does love Xian, as he loves us all. But he loves us enough to ask us to repent and experience the mighty change of heart, not give in to the doctrines of the world. When he comes to the point where he would like help, have him a good therapist who helps people desiring to change. He can be helped to leave his homosexual desires and behaviors behind.

  • Overdubbed San Diego, CA
    March 18, 2017 10:08 a.m.

    I can't put my finger on it. No one thing about it. But this video bugs me.

    I think, perhaps, it is trying to make some sort of statement about families must love and support their members. But maybe that message is drowning in lots of other included messages that seem to be promoting apostasy.

  • Henry Drummond San Jose, CA
    March 18, 2017 9:43 a.m.

    Its interesting how people change their perspective - and their rhetoric - when they realize they could be talking about their own flesh and blood.

  • nanajan Pleasant Grove, UT
    March 18, 2017 9:28 a.m.

    When these shallow pro-gay coming-out stories are told we never hear the dark backstory. Parents and leaders should care that underneath what you see is a pornographic, cyberspace, predatory, sex-addicted, narcissistic, phony, dead-end mindset and lifestyle. Many years ago in his teens my child was involved in homosexuality. The sinning was exciting, but he knew it was wrong and eventually, with the right help, got himself out. His authentic heart-wrenching story and Christ-centered beliefs are regularly recharacterized, dismissed, and met with hateful resistance, even threats. Interesting that the world-- and the church-- have zero love and acceptance and praise when it comes to stories like my son’s.

  • Laura Bilington Maple Valley, WA
    March 18, 2017 9:05 a.m.

    @Hope, I'm going to guess that you knew you were straight from early childhood. Am I right?

    I'm going to guess that you didn't pray about this, and ask Heavenly Father if you were really straight, because you saw no reason to question it. Am I right again?

    If so, I wonder why you say that someone who states that she or he is gay--with the same intensity that you have always known about you being straight--that they are delusional, that they are not listening to God, that they are hearing voices from Satan, that they are denying the truth that God is trying to tell them.

    I would not dream of telling you what God wants you to do or think, let alone do this and justify it by saying that I "know" that I am right. Because I don't "know" any such thing.

  • 1hemlock Tooele, Utah
    March 18, 2017 8:45 a.m.

    I feel for all the mothers and fathers of gay children particularly those who are "openly gay" (I guess meaning they are sexually active).
    While they love their kids they know by being "openly gay" they are committing sin and fall short all they could have.
    The kids won't get a "pass" no matter how good they are otherwise. None of us will. God bless those chaste singles (gay and heterosexual) that have enough faith and resilience to do what's right and be patient.
    Momma' s love won't save them.
    Only by the grace of God after ALL WE CAN DO.

  • 1hemlock Tooele, Utah
    March 18, 2017 8:27 a.m.

    It is a choice whether to have sexual relations outside the bounds of marriage between a man and a woman. Tens of thousands, if not more, heterosexual men and women are able to "conrol" themselves and live active Church lives knowing that God will work things out. They are able to do it. Anyone can do it.
    But so many profess to follow the teachings of the Church, except for this one thing (the young rich man parable comes to mind).
    Strange paths indeed.

  • moresureword Maple Grove, MN
    March 18, 2017 7:10 a.m.

    There is something important missing from this story. Divine love is conditional, according to President Russell M. Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. Divine blessings are conditional also, Nelson reported.

    Sinners must repent, according to the Church. Sin cannot be looked upon with the least degree of allowance, according to the Church. Sin must be abhorred, according to the Church.

    Parents are expected to teach obedience. We can tolerate the differences of others, but “we cannot tolerate their infractions of the laws of God,” according to President Nelson. In other words, parents may love their children, but may not tolerate their sins.

    The son in this story would be deemed an "apostate" of the Church, if he tried to remain a member and married another man.

  • GingerMarshall Brooklyn, OH
    March 18, 2017 6:29 a.m.

    @bachelors of science: "I'm not sure what message the LDS church is trying to send to its members with this video"

    How about:
    - Stop treating people badly because of who the love.

    - Stop throwing kids on the street because they're gay - 40+% of kids on the street are LGBT, most were forced out of the home by religious parents.

    - Stop passing laws that hurt LGBT Americans who are the children of your neighbors... or maybe your own child.

    - Stop trying to compel others to live your choices.

    - Stop repeating propaganda about LGBT people and actually find out who we are, as people.

    Read Acts 10: 9-16, focused especially on verse 15: The voice spoke to him a second time, “Do not call anything impure that God has made clean.”

    That isn't about the bacon at breakfast, or shrimp. It is about your neighbor, including your LGBT neighbors. 🏳️‍🌈

  • Hope & Faith give us strength Utah County, UT
    March 18, 2017 1:42 a.m.

    I explained that I had an answer for myself, but that the best option would be to get your answer from God directly. This was taken as opinion and accusation in error.

    If you have prayed with faith and humility, then it wouldn't matter whether God's answer was "here's the truth" or "wait 40 more years" or if he remained silent for decades or if the answer was "don't worry about this, I want you to build a boat instead".

    If even a fraction of faith was exercised by those who suggest they long prayed without the answers they were looking for... it's cause they were looking for answers they wanted rather than looking to change themselves to fit the answers given. Basically, humility was nonexistent. I once told someone, roughly, "if you ask for my advise on how to paint, don't resist what I tell you cause it's not what you want to hear."

    If one prays with the will to follow the answer God will give, then they would live obedient to the commandments and would see the same love and truth and feel about the brethren, and feel the same spiritual confirmation the rest of us receive. If they teach something else, they are not of God.

  • Catchup Twin Falls, ID
    March 17, 2017 9:29 p.m.

    This was really beautiful. What an amazing family!

  • 1aggie SALT LAKE CITY, UT
    March 17, 2017 6:25 p.m.

    The bottom line is, "we" ie church members and church leaders don't have all the "answers."

    We don't even have all the questions.

    So, we revert back to God's commandment to "love one another" and "love your neighbor as yourself." period. Only God knows why there exists variation in sexual attraction and gender identity. Only God knows an individual's personal experience, opportunities, hardships, desires--heart and soul. He will judge us all in the end.

    Until then, walk alongside your neighbor and do good to him. Leave the judging to God.
    If our LGBT brothers and sisters--married or not--don't feel welcome within the walls of our churches, we've got a lot of work to do.

  • breezeehills Snowflake, AZ
    March 17, 2017 5:53 p.m.

    @Ranch

    I hear the sincerity in the challenges you've faced. It is unfortunate that you feel alone in your struggles. We ALL have trials. My life may seem a fantasy to you, because you don't know me, but because I have gone through my own trial by fire, and have been able to overcome with faith in my Savior, Jesus Christ's Atonement, I know what I have shared with you IS true. As we put our temptations behind us, and don't quit trying, we CAN become stronger, and it DOES become easier, until eventually we lose the desire altogether.

    Our Heavenly Father will always love us. As we continue to go to Him in prayer, He will continue to help us feel that love. He loves us and wants us to have all that He has to offer us, if we are willing to accept it.

  • Laura Bilington Maple Valley, WA
    March 17, 2017 4:55 p.m.

    @Christmas wrote, “I assume homosexuality is not what you wanted initially or you would not have attempted to seek the Lord for change in the first place.”

    The gay Mormons guys I know prayed for change because they were told by their parents and / or their church that they were unacceptable as they were. And they said the same thing that Ranch said--that they realized that they were praying for the wrong thing--and then they prayed to accept themselves as they were.

    I asked a missionary years ago which way to go, when the message given by the Church clashed with the message that I received in prayer; he said to follow the message from prayer. If you’ve already decided what the “right” answer is, you’re not going to hear what’s really being said.

  • Frozen Fractals Salt Lake City, UT
    March 17, 2017 3:07 p.m.

    @Common sense conservative
    Generally heterosexual and homosexual just generally refer to attraction to the opposite or same gender, it doesn't say anything about monogamy or polygamy. Monogamy and polygamy are the structure of relationships that people are in so those words don't cover feelings. Now polyamorous would be having romantic attractions to more than one person which is kind of a step past thinking multiple people of the opposite gender are attractive and there could be some grey area where someone in a monogamous relationship could kinda be polyamorous and not act on it.

    @Christmas
    "Where's the open admission of mistakes from their son and his need to change? "

    What's his mistake? The LDS church doesn't consider being gay to be a sin so unless he's doing stuff (which they do frown upon)... there's nothing he has to change as far as they're concerned.

  • Frozen Fractals Salt Lake City, UT
    March 17, 2017 2:52 p.m.

    @Lone Eagle
    "A person is not "gay" until acting on the same sex attraction."

    That's not true. Someone is heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual based on whether they have attractions to the opposite gender, same gender, or both. Acting on it doesn't matter, after all the church expects people to not do those things until marriage and you surely wouldn't consider a guy and girl that are dating to not be heterosexual while they're chaste.

  • Misty Mountain Kent, WA
    March 17, 2017 2:44 p.m.

    @Illuminated said,

    “On the other hand, the family unit being male and female has never changed since Adam and Eve.”

    Family units have always consisted of women and their children. Sometimes the men stuck around, sometimes not. Sometimes there was one man and multiple women. Sometimes there was a wife and a (replaceable) concubine. There are, even today, societies where one woman lives with multiple men.

    And always, there have been women who lived together, and men who lived together. Generally, they were publicly known known as “good friends”; sometimes they claimed to be siblings or cousins. Sometimes the relationships were openly gay. Sometimes children from previous relationships were part of the mix.

  • Christmas South Jordan, UT
    March 17, 2017 2:19 p.m.

    Ranch-
    " I prayed to be changed EVERY DAY for years. Everyday. Hope. Everyday! No change occurred. Never. Not even a smidgen."

    There is a difference between wanting to change versus wanting to overcome. People can change something over night if they want to. But overcoming something that is unwanted can sometimes take a lifetime. I assume homosexuality is not what you wanted initially or you would not have attempted to seek the Lord for change in the first place.

    Prayers are answered in the Lords time, not ours. If someone chooses not to actively and earnestly seek the Lord to overcome, then it is assumed you have given up and have chosen to accept the choices you've made.

  • illuminated Kansas City, MO
    March 17, 2017 1:43 p.m.

    @Bacchus

    Oh but it is a revelation. D&C 1:38

    "whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same."

    I don't usual count off the cuff comments by the prophets as revelation, but a signed document by the first presidency? If that's not revelation, nothing is.

  • Baccus0902 Leesburg, VA
    March 17, 2017 1:41 p.m.

    @ Illuminated

    Oops! Yours and my mistake. The Family: A Proclamation to the World was redacted with Gordon B. Hinckley as President of the Church.

  • Baccus0902 Leesburg, VA
    March 17, 2017 1:31 p.m.

    @ Hope & Faith give us strength
    Thank you for sharing your experience and opinion. I hear you and respectfully disagree with your insinuation. My mind and conscience is at peace. I love the Lord and feel his love and approval on this respect every day of my life.

    @ Illuminated
    you wrote:
    "The Family: A Proclamation To the world is the most recent revelation on homosexuality. President Monson, himself, signed his name to it. You've never heard of that? I doubt it."

    My dear fellow Saint, I have heard about it and read it a few times. Yes, It was signed by President Monson, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve. I failed to see your point. The Family a Proclamation to the world. Should and is considered by the LDS Church as the guiding document regarding Marriage and family. But it is not a revelation.

  • Christmas South Jordan, UT
    March 17, 2017 1:27 p.m.

    This video felt like an attempt to make us all feel warm and fuzzy about sin, or dismiss it all together.

    There was reconciliation between the parents and their son, but no reconciliation with Christ, no mention of repentance, no mention of Christ's atonement.....nothing.

    "The fathers open admission of his mistakes, his recognition of the need to change the way he looked at his son and the world"

    Everyone makes mistakes, but why is this supposed "open admission of mistakes" only focusing on the parents? Where's the open admission of mistakes from their son and his need to change?

    Where's the recognition of what scriptures say about sin and repentance?

  • Ranch Here, UT
    March 17, 2017 1:26 p.m.

    Hope says:
    "Yes, I'm sure you've prayed. But prayer without an open heart that's willing to be corrected, taught, welcoming to revision and change (from God, not Satan) is another thing altogether."..."The truth is absolutely available. The only question is ever whether we are willing to listen."

    --- Prayer without an open heart. How do you know that our prayers were not with an open heart? Perhaps you're the one who needs to open your heart.

    I prayed to be changed EVERY DAY for years. Every day, Hope. Every day! No change occurred. Never. Not even a smidgen.

    Until the day I finally prayed for acceptance (i.e., I "opened my heart welcoming revision and change") and guess what? At that VERY MOMENT, Hope, ALL my guilt, despair, self loathing vanished. All of it! I felt the most incredible sense of peace I'd ever felt in my life, Hope. And that has not changed in over 30 years!

    Hope, you are the one who needs to open yourself to change and revision, yes, the truth IS available, Instead of posting with such hubris and arrogance, perhaps you are the one who needs to listen!

  • Ranch Here, UT
    March 17, 2017 1:20 p.m.

    @Bountiful Guy;

    Does it matter? You're asking LGBT people to forsake everything in this (actual) life for some possible "eternal" life that probably doesn't exist anyway.

    @breezeehills;

    Pure fantasy, start to finish.

    @Tucket;

    I'm in my late 50's, most of my gay friends are too. You keep lying and think your god loves you for it?

    @KevinSim;

    Sin is just a human construct. A gay married to another gay IS being chaste as long as they're monogamous!

    @illuminated;

    Bingo!!! It isn't true! & ""...the sacred powers of procreation " are possible with SCIENCE!

    @Baccus0902;

    It is policy, not "revelation".

    @Hope;

    Being gay is NOT a "temptation" any more than being straight is. I "govern myself" to be a good person even if I love and have a relationship with someone of the same gender. You were told not to judge and can't even refrain from that "temptation" yourself.

  • Diego De La Vega South Jordan, UT
    March 17, 2017 12:59 p.m.

    I watched the recommended video link. I thought that it was interesting but it left me confused. I was taught that homosexual behavior was a sin. That homosexual behavior was just as serious as two heterosexuals committing adultery which would lead to excommunication from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I also understood that if a person, who was a homosexual maintained a morally-chaste celebrate lifestyle, he could maintain his standing in the Church. However, since the before-mentioned video is now on the Mormon Channel, it appears that there is some confusion in the leadership ranks of the Church on how to deal with homosexual members of the Church. Hopefully, the leadership of the Church will receive divine revelation that will further clarify LGBTQ Latter-day Saints and their relationship to the Church. Right now I understand that the same standard of morality applies to every member of the LDS Church regardless of sexual orientation ; that is "Complete Chastity before marriage and complete fidelity after marriage, and that marriage is ONLY between a man and a woman in a monogamous relationship."

  • Hope & Faith give us strength Utah County, UT
    March 17, 2017 12:56 p.m.

    Baccus0902,

    I share the same mentality about this as illuminated described. Though I would add a word of caution. I firmly believe the only real way to address this is through prayer. Yes, I'm sure you've prayed. But prayer without an open heart that's willing to be corrected, taught, welcoming to revision and change (from God, not Satan) is another thing altogether. The real question is what do we actually want to believe in? Do we have hope that the church may be true, with all it's promised blessings and divine potential? Do we want to feed that hope and accept changes within ourselves to draw near to it and build off it?

    Thing is, I prayed about it years ago when I wasn't sure, and trusted that the brethren weren't wrong, as you said of them with the priesthood, but that they probably knew more than I did about it. So I trusted them and figured an answer would eventually come. As I studied the scriptures, it came. Since that day, it's been as crystal clear, unconfused, unquestioned, and loving and tolerant as it needed to be.

    The truth is absolutely available. The only question is ever whether we are willing to listen.

  • illuminated Kansas City, MO
    March 17, 2017 12:43 p.m.

    @Bacchus

    The men who were authorized to hold the Priesthood has changed many times throughout history. At first it was just Aaron and his sons, then it passed to the tribe of Levi. When Christ came, he conferred it to his apostles, then to the 70 and so forth.

    The Church allowing blacks to have the Priesthood is not that remarkable when you take into account the Bible. However, it's always been worthy males who have had it conferred in a permanent basis.

    On the other hand, the family unit being male and female has never changed since Adam and Eve.

    The Family: A Proclamation To the world is the most recent revelation on homosexuality. President Monson, himself, signed his name to it. You've never heard of that? I doubt it.

    "...the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife."

  • KevinSim Springville, UT
    March 17, 2017 12:36 p.m.

    Bachelors of science posted:

    =I'm not sure what message the LDS church is trying to send to its members with
    =this video:
    =
    =That it's ok to be gay?

    It IS okay to be gay. The Church has been saying that for a while now. The Church hosts a website for gay members to talk about their experiences. The Church just emphasizes that while it's possible for the large numbers of single Latter-day Saints to be heterosexual but chaste, it's also possible for gay and lesbian Latter-day Saints to be homosexual but chaste.

  • Josephbunzol chicago, IL
    March 17, 2017 12:25 p.m.

    I understand the Video--I do not understand how the parents, who should love their son, can reconcile this situation with their hope for an eternal family. That hope has been dashed, as long as their son remains an "active " Homosexual. Which leads back to the situation regarding the Church's position on active Homosexuals. If they marry, they are considered Apostatized and are Excommunicated. If they are sexually active they, just like straight people, are in violation of the law of Chastity. I doubt if the leaders of the Church would see the beauty of this video. If they really approved this for publication, then they are clueless as to what they should be doing in regards to this issue. They cannot have everything end up OK. By design there must be a right and a wrong. Period

  • Mack2828 Ft Thomas, KY
    March 17, 2017 11:54 a.m.

    I have been a member my entire life and have always been taught that homosexuality is wrong. So video's like this are confusing to me. Was it published by the church? Did President Monson approve it, or was it just done by someone in the church video department?
    I sometimes feel like I don't even know what we as a church believe anymore.

  • 1aggie SALT LAKE CITY, UT
    March 17, 2017 11:42 a.m.

    "There are no homosexual members of the Church. We are not defined by sexual attraction. We are not defined by sexual behavior."

    Yet,
    the church spends a lot of time talking about sexual behavior.

  • bachelors of science Brigham City, UT
    March 17, 2017 11:33 a.m.

    I'm not sure what message the LDS church is trying to send to its members with this video:

    That it's ok to be gay?

  • Hope & Faith give us strength Utah County, UT
    March 17, 2017 11:29 a.m.

    An attraction is simply a thought, an appeal, an enticing to desire something. Satan may tempt you to desire something when you would be better off following another enticing, that of the spirit.

    A man may desire:
    A woman
    A different woman
    A man
    A child
    A teenager
    A sibling
    A cow
    A Porche you don't need
    A new Mac you don't need

    /// 1 Corinthians 10:13: "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man..."

    I don't care what entices someone. If your human, the fact is that all manner of temptations will cross your mind at some point. Satan finds the ones you linger on and pushes those as hard as he can. You're human, after all.

    The purpose of this life is to learn to govern ourselves. If we were to do everything we see animals doing, we'd eat our young. We must choose not to be the sum of our appetites. Natural temptation need not mean "obligated to act on". Satan fools us into thinking we have no choice to act. This is his lie.

    /// "...but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it."

  • Baccus0902 Leesburg, VA
    March 17, 2017 11:21 a.m.

    @ Illuminated
    You wrote:
    " If that's truly the way it is, that the principle of the family, outlined in Doctrine and Covenants, is simply "prejudices of men", then this Church isn't true.
    It would imply that Joseph Smith and his successors got it all wrong."

    What a sad comment!

    The leaders of the church got it wrong for a long time regarding the Priesthood. But they received the proper information and was rectified. That is why we have and need revelation.

    We have always known there are many, many things we don't know or do not understand. That lack of knowledge or lack or understanding about certain issues should not be an obstacle for the acceptance of those issues that you know and understand.

    I love to read the scriptures and yet I have never encountered a revelation regarding homosexuality. I accept that many leaders have talked against it, including Moses and Paul. But I have never encountered a revelation on the subject. If somebody has I would like to know about it.

  • unrepentant progressive Bozeman, MT
    March 17, 2017 11:21 a.m.

    It would appear that the debate over whether its okay to be gay will never end. Sad.

    However, for this family and many others, the debate is over. It is heart warming and heartening to see people look beyond the dogma of religious prejudice. And you can be a "good" LDS member, Southern Baptist or whatever and reject the demonization of their LGBT brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles and friends. Even welcoming them into your earthly and spiritual home.

    It may even be possible to reinterpret your most sacred beliefs to incorporate this LGBT person's chosen family (they marry and adopt) into the fellowship and eternal life as proscribed in holy texts. It only takes an open heart and open mind as this wonderful family has done.

    Most religions have evolved beliefs, some for two millennia. Change is hard for many, but evolution is inevitable. It doesn't mean you reject core tenets. It does mean to reject some of the lesser/failed ones that belong in the dust heap.

    And I am not a believer, and I get this stuff.

  • GingerMarshall Brooklyn, OH
    March 17, 2017 11:08 a.m.

    @Bountiful Guy: "What dos the LGBT community believe is the condition of the family in the life after this one?"

    The LGBT community is as diverse as America… Actually, as diverse as the entire world. Personally, I believe in reincarnation, and believe that each life is a learning opportunity.

    @What in Tucket: "...gay men his life expectancy is about 25-30 years less."

    That is a made up statistic that has nothing to do with reality.

    Also, gay men and lesbians make up between three and 5% of the population, transgender people are over .5%, and bisexuals or another approximately 5%.

  • Baccus0902 Leesburg, VA
    March 17, 2017 11:09 a.m.

    Thank you Deseret News for this beautiful article. I as many other LGBT believe that the brethren will come to the realization by study, prayer, common sense , and/or revelation that Homosexuality is a valid variant as heterosexuality.

    I was serving my mission in 1978 when President Kimball and the First Presidency announced the Priesthood what mix of wonderful feelings came by that announcement.

    I am looking forward to that momentous time when the LDS Church proclaims the new understanding received about human sexuality.

  • illuminated Kansas City, MO
    March 17, 2017 10:54 a.m.

    @Laura Bilington

    If that's truly the way it is, that the principle of the family, outlined in Doctrine and Covenants, is simply "prejudices of men", then this Church isn't true.

    The eternal family is the bedrock principle of the LDS church. You can't throw the baby out with the bath water and still claim it to be the true church. It would imply that Joseph Smith and his successors got it all wrong.

    As I have said many times before. You can't have it both ways. Either the behavior is wrong, or the church is false.

  • Laura Bilington Maple Valley, WA
    March 17, 2017 10:43 a.m.

    @What in Tucket? wrote,

    "The incidence of homosexuality is about 1 and 1/4 percent. It is sad if a family member is gay because if he acts like other gay men his life expectancy is about 25-30 years less. Why should we be happy about that?"

    Tucket, your data is from the bad old days of 1978, when nobody knew how AIDS was being spread, and casual sex with multiple partners was the norm. Someone like that, now, is an outlier. Gay men who date responsibly with the goal of a lifetime commitment to one man have life expectancies no different from straight men.

    The family member to worry about is the middle aged one who is married and sneaks off to spend time at a gay bar, or a public restroom known to be a hangout for men looking for anonymous (and, all too frequently, unprotected) sex.

  • scotinUtah Provo, UT
    March 17, 2017 10:25 a.m.

    @Impartial 7

    "There are no homosexual members of the Church. We are not defined by sexual attraction. We are not defined by sexual behavior." That is the true quote.

  • KevinSim Springville, UT
    March 17, 2017 10:06 a.m.

    Foreverfaithful posted:

    =No need to proof Elder Bednar's comment. Elder Packard also stated "It's A
    =Choice!!!!"

    Boyd Packer did say it was a choice. I heard the talk. But in saying that he departed from his prepared talk that (presumably) passed corelation. The LDS Church has been very clear in recent years that its official position is that gays appear to not be gay by choice. They are born with their homosexuality.

    Furthermore, Packer's logic that he used in his talk didn't make sense. He pointed out (with some accuracy) that homosexuality really messes up someone's life, so why would a loving Father in Heaven create someone gay? I would point out that dying of cancer also really messes up someone's life, so what did Neal Maxwell and Howard Hunter do to choose their cancer? Maybe they smoked too many cigarettes?

  • KevinSim Springville, UT
    March 17, 2017 9:59 a.m.

    Common sense conservative posted:

    =So brave sir robin -If a straight, married man has attractions to other women,
    =but never acts on them, does that make him a polygamist? If so, there's a whole
    =lot of them out there. Our feelings and desires don't define us. Our actions
    =do.

    No, Sir Robin is right. Polygamist and gay are defined differently. A polygamist is someone who has more than one spouse; a gay is someone who is attracted to someone of the same gender. Polygamy is (currently) a sin; being gay is not. Actually having sex with someone of the same gender (acting on the same gender attraction) is a sin.

  • What in Tucket? Provo, UT
    March 17, 2017 9:47 a.m.

    The incidence of homosexuality is about 1 and 1/4 percent. It is sad if a family member is gay because if he acts like other gay men his life expectancy is about 25-30 years less. Why should we be happy about that?

  • Laura Bilington Maple Valley, WA
    March 17, 2017 9:46 a.m.

    @Bountiful Guy asks, "What dos the LGBT community believe is the condition of the family in the life after this one? Is there eternal marriage, family, and procreation?"

    I will gently remind you that there is no monolith called "The GLBT Community" any more than there is a group called "The Straight Community". And I'm straight, so I'm not a member of this [non-existent] LGBT group. But every gay LDS person I know said they prayed to change and were told by God that they were fine, just the way they were. They
    believe that Heavenly Father wants them to marry another gay person and grow a family through alternate insemination, adoption, or surrogacy--just like straight, non-fertile couples do.

    If they believe in an afterlife (not all do), they believe that they will be eternally married to their gay spouses, no matter where the marriage took place.

    They have no desire to argue with the Brethren. They see the issue of blacks only recently getting the priesthood to be an indication of the prejudices of men rather than a change of heart on the part of our Heavenly Father.

  • breezeehills Snowflake, AZ
    March 17, 2017 9:36 a.m.

    We all have our trials by fire. What was Corianton's trial by fire? It wasn't a sin for him to be attracted to the harlot Isabel. The sin was that he acted upon it. Instead of embracing his sin, his loving father recognized his misunderstanding of God's Plan of Redemption and he spent much time explaining this to him. He loved him. He was concerned for his eternal welfare.

    Our's is not to bend God's will to our will, but instead, work to understand our part in His eternal plan. He has set His standard. Knowing this standard, we can either accept or reject it. If we know what His standard is, and want to do what is right in His eyes, through our faith in the Atonement of Jesus Christ we can actually pray for our desire to reflect His will for us. Our hearts can literally change. We will no longer have the desire to live the sin.

    I have had my own burdens to bear, and therefore I know, not simply believe, this is true. Our will can literally be changed to reflect God's will for us. Because of the difficult trial I've had to face and overcome, I will never unfairly judge another. It is hard. Life is hard, but life isn't supposed to be easy or we would never grow.

  • Bountiful Guy Bountiful, UT
    March 17, 2017 9:12 a.m.

    I mean no disrespect by these questions. What dos the LGBT community believe is the condition of the family in the life after this one?

    Is there eternal marriage, family, and procreation?

  • I M LDS 2 Provo, UT
    March 17, 2017 8:44 a.m.

    Bednar likened same-sex attraction to a physical challenge, like being “born with a body that is not fully functional,” but noted that “simply being attracted to someone of the same gender is not a sin.”

    No matter how you try to fix it, it is not a very accepting view of some of God's children.

  • Common sense conservative Herriman, UT
    March 17, 2017 8:35 a.m.

    So brave sir robin -If a straight, married man has attractions to other women, but never acts on them, does that make him a polygamist? If so, there's a whole lot of them out there. Our feelings and desires don't define us. Our actions do.

  • Ranch Here, UT
    March 17, 2017 8:33 a.m.

    @Lone Eagle;

    There is nothing wrong with living the way you were created. A person is "gay" whether or not they "act on it".

  • Husker1 Northern Utah County, UT
    March 17, 2017 8:33 a.m.

    Despite what pop culture tells us, it is possible to love someone but disagree with their lifestyle. It doesn't make us "haters" or homophobic.

  • Brave Sir Robin San Diego, CA
    March 17, 2017 8:11 a.m.

    @Lone Eagle

    "Acting on same sex attraction is always a choice. A person is not "gay" until acting on the same sex attraction."

    That's incorrect. People have a preference even when they're not acting on it. By extension, what you're saying is that "a person is not straight until acting on the opposite gender attraction", which is completely false. I've known I was straight since I was old enough to have romantic feelings, even though I wasn't acting on them. Your gay brothers and sisters are exactly the same.

  • 10CC Bountiful, UT
    March 17, 2017 6:46 a.m.

    Kudos again to the D-News for reporting a difficult, but heartening story.

    It's remarkable how far understandings have come on this issue. Just a few years ago an LDS Apostle stated very clearly that God would never create somebody who is gay.

    This young brother, Xian McIntosh, shreds that mentality by responding to his father, "why would anyone choose this?" If Xian was my kid, I would be proud of him.

    We've learned that in the short time gay marriage has become legal nationwide, that teen suicides have dropped. This story is another positive point of progress. One by one, little by little, hearts are being softened, viewpoints are becoming more sympathetic.

    That, my friends, is a miracle, and a blessing, occurring before our eyes.

  • Lone Eagle Aurora, CO
    March 17, 2017 6:24 a.m.

    Acting on same sex attraction is always a choice. A person is not "gay" until acting on the same sex attraction.

  • illuminated Kansas City, MO
    March 17, 2017 6:20 a.m.

    The Church can't have it both ways. It's been written from the beginning and all throughout Scripture that homosexual acts are a serious sin and that we can't reach the highest degree of glory without a sealed marriage between a man and a woman.

    Promoting these feelings as being okay and normal isn't helping people get on the path which the prophets have taught about.

    Everyone struggles with something; drug addiction, pornography, anger, depression, and so on. We all have issues that try to pull us off the Savior's strait and narrow path. But that doesn't mean we advertise and promote those vices as acceptable. That will simply make it harder to resist.

    I don't know why the Church is doing this. You can't love God and Mammon at the same time. It never works that way.

  • Ricardo Carvalho Provo, UT
    March 17, 2017 3:51 a.m.

    In this era of fake news and things taken out of context, I too would ask Impartia7 to provide a reference so that those interested could further explore the statement.

  • aceroinox Farmington, UT
    March 17, 2017 3:40 a.m.

    @Impartial7--The statement you've quoted is indeed taken out of context. If you're interested in hearing the entire discussion, I think you'll find it quite enlightening. It took place during a Q&A with Elder Bednar. If you do a search for your quote and Elder Bednar's name, you'll find a search result near the top from an article in LDSLiving Magazine. That article contains video of his entire answer to a question from a member of the church from Chile: “How can homosexual members of the Church live and remain steadfast in the gospel?” That video can also be found on YouTube. His answer is perhaps one of the most complete and clear explanations of the LDS Church's doctrine regarding the family and marriage that I have ever heard. Regardless of where you stand on the issue of same-sex marriage, after listening, you will at least have a clear understanding of where the LDS Church stands.

  • Foreverfaithful Orem, UT
    March 17, 2017 12:08 a.m.

    No need to proof Elder Bednar's comment. Elder Packard also stated "It's A Choice!!!!"

  • Capsaicin Salt Lake City, UT
    March 16, 2017 10:59 p.m.

    Response is always choice.

  • U of U Grad Orange County, CA
    March 16, 2017 10:48 p.m.

    I commend all three for being so open and honest with us about the reality of their struggle to find a separate peace for each of them. The father's open admission of his mistakes, his recognition of the need to change the way he looked at his son and the world, and his demonstration of how he's working to change was courageous. Bravo!

  • Fair Flower Layton, UT
    March 16, 2017 10:35 p.m.

    @Impartial7 - DRAPER, UT: Where did you get the state from David A. Bednar? It sounds like it was taken out of context. Proof, please?

  • 2close2call Los Angeles, CA
    March 16, 2017 10:05 p.m.

    "Why would you choose this?" Scott Mackintosh asked his son, who looked at his father and "chuckled" before responding, "Dad, I didn't choose this. Why would anyone choose this?"

    Indeed, so I ask Mormons members once again. Would a perfect God create people attracted to only their same sex, and then tell them, if they ever act on it, then don't repent will be punished for eternity by being sent to a lower kingdom? Please don't quote anything that a fallible man wrote in your answer!

  • Impartial7 DRAPER, UT
    March 16, 2017 9:36 p.m.

    "There are no homosexual members of the church"
    David A. Bednar